I am a thirtysomething, single woman who has worked in the same small company for years.During this time a few of my male co-workers have approached me for dates.Since my stepsister left the house three years ago, she’s become very wealthy and started seeing a new man we’ve only met once.
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You have the right to be treated professionally by your colleagues, not as an eternally captive audience for date-finagling.
None of your own responses, as you’ve described them, have been rude.
Regardless, your stepsister did you a favor by telling you in advance that you were not particularly welcome (although your money apparently is), and you can congratulate yourself on having escaped incurring an unpleasant debt to an unpleasant woman.
For the sake of politeness, send a small gift (whatever’s cheapest on the registry), offer her your perfunctory congratulations, and consider that bullet dodged.
This is very much a work matter and falls precisely under your boss’s purview.