It transforms an experience similar to sleeping next to a dying silverback gorilla into sleeping next to an aquarium. Also, most men a single woman meets have been separated or divorced for about 20 minutes. This – subscribing -- means you can communicate with people at the site, instead of just studying the profiles, questionnaires, preferences and photographs for free. So the first morning, eight profiles of men varying in age from 54 to 63 arrived by email.
Yet union with a partner -- someone with whom to wake, whom you love, and talk with on and off all day, and sit with at dinner, and watch TV and movies, read together in bed, do hard tasks together, and to be loved by. I had experienced varying degrees of loneliness since my guy and I split up. Most seemed pretty normal, with college degrees, which I don't have, but certainly meant to; some attractive, mostly divorced but some like me, never married, some witty, some dull, sort of like real life.
After our breakup, I had just assumed there would be a bunch of kind, brilliant, liberal, funny guys my age to choose from. Surely my friends would set me up with their single friends, and besides, I am out in the public a lot doing events at bookstores and political gatherings, the ideal breeding ground for my type of guy. People don't know single guys my age who are looking for single women my age. I went onto with a clear knowledge that relationships are not the answer to lifelong problems. Curiously, almost without exception, they were "spiritual but not religious." I thought for a while that this meant ecumenical, drawn to Rumi, Thomas Merton, Mary Oliver.
A 60-year-old man does not fantasize about a 60-year-old woman. But I have come to learn that this means they think of themselves as friendly.
Also, 91 percent of men snore loudly – badly, like very sick bears.